I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
