The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
