Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
