He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
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We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
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Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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