She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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