let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
