I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
