Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
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I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
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Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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