You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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