He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize