hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i out mim tonsoeep
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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