Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
