No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
