where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
