sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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