Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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