walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
