a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
