I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
