We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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