Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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