my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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