RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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