dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
