Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
COCAINE IS GR8
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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