she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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