OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
