i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize