what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
