thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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