Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
