Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
