if you like me you must not know who I am
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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