dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
