If i come over, it means nothing
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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