Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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