This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
