I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
