I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
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I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
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I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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