just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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