the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
