Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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