I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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