A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
There's even glitter on my cock...
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