well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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