Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
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Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
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mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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