It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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