He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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