i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
