she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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