I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
