9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
