Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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