I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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