honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
