why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
