dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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