Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
