Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
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