The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
