Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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