these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize