How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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