the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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